Shopping? No thank you.

Shopping has made my list of "things I don't like to do" here in Muscat.  Shopping here, whether it be for groceries, clothes, or whatever, is just a headache for the most part.   I will say that at first, when you are new, it is a fun cultural experience because you are still in the "tourist" mind set and everything is new and exciting, even shopping.  After a few weeks, it's gone, WAY gone.

Nothing is really close for shopping, and most likely in getting to where you are going, you will hit some type of construction* and/or unexpected change in roads due to said construction, so you may be stuck in serious traffic coming home, making each second that ticks by painful knowing your dairy and frozen goods are raising in temperature as you creep through a round about or bottle neck where the road has suddenly converted from 4 lanes to two.  Or, the store is packed with patrons and half of the check out crew has not showed up to work, so you wait in line to check out for 20 minutes.  I don't think I've ever made it out of Lulu's (grocery store) in less than and hour and a half.  That is also because it's just a big store.  *Road construction is going on like crazy here because they are a growing city and trying to improve their roadways for future tourism and growth.

Things are just expensive here too.  I used to think it wasn't so bad, but in general, it just is.  Produce is the one thing that usually is pretty cheap since most of it is either imported a short distance or is grown locally depending on the season.  But, the rest of the food can make your stomach knot up when you do quick conversions in your head.  Everyone here advises you to just stop converting, but it's hard not to.  1 Rial sounds cheap, but one rial is $2.60 US, so that can of black beans (black beans are harder to find for some reason) that are .75 rials are $1.95.  That box of Duncan Hines cake mix that is 1.7 Rials is almost $4.50.  Granted those things are usually from the US or Europe, but you get the picture.  Even clothes can be spendy.  I went looking for a pack of panties for Aberly and even a 3-pack of toddler undies were 3 rials, yes, that is almost $8.  The worst mark up I've seen was for Sociables crackers at 3.8 rials a box.  $9.88???  Most Americans wouldn't even pay $3.80 for them!  That store was bound to lose all their money on that one.  If you are a Dave Ramsey disciple, you will die here.  And if you are a coupon-er, they don't exist (although they do have the Entertainment book here).  And sales?  They have them, but rarely on food.  There are no club card prices.  The best you find are multi-packs of items that are "cheaper" as a group.  You know, like normally $1.25 a piece, but buy this 5 pack for $5!

We ease our minds about the prices of other goods when we remind ourselves that gas is just under $1 a gallon.

Half the time when you shop at smaller stores, like the corner market, the more casual supermarket, things are just not priced.  I have the knack of always wanting to buy the things that are not marked.  You have to hope it's not outrageous and take it to the check-out.  Once there, you have to watch and act quickly because voiding an item, especially once another item has been scanned, makes the world stop.  Either they don't know how to do it (apparently no one changes their minds here) or they have to get a manager override, even if you decide against something cheap.  And sometimes, the item may be priced on the rack, but half of them are missing their barcode sticker, or like me, you have the knack of grabbing the one out of the ten that is missing it, so you wait for 10 minutes while a courtesy clerk, who has no understanding of the word courtesy, goes to find another item with the sticker.

Malls are busy and expensive. 

The souk may have fun, local, and cheaper goods, but you will be hounded by every shop owner you walk by, trying to convince you to look at, touch, feel, smell, see their items and buy from them.  Since I look like a tourist, I am offered pashminas every two feet because that must be what I want to buy.  I am about ready to make a sign I can stick to myself that says "resident" for the next time I go.  Or I am going to buy an abaya (the black coverups women wear here).

I think that about covers it.  There are a few other small reasons I could think of if I wasn't about to fall asleep after this long day.  I think you probably get the picture though. 

Next time you go to your local Safeway, Target, or Macy's, be thankful.
  

Valentine's Day

I have to say, living abroad this Valentine's Day was pretty nice.  As much as I miss the spirit of the season and all the festivities for Christmas back home, avoiding all the hub-bub and pressure of Valentine's Day was awesome.  America's commercial frenzy around Valentine's Day has turned this holiday into a disappointment-filled, sad, unloving day for many, and a day when so many men (mostly) fail because of the expectations they can't often fulfill.  It's become a dreaded day for many because it's all about having a significant other instead of just sharing love with everyone in your life.

But here, the day came and went barely noticed.  Some of the stores catered to the West and sold Valentine's candy, cards, and such, but it was a very small aisle-end display.  The school had some small crafts and events in class for the kids, and roses could be bought and distributed like most high schools do each year, but that was it.  No TV ads, no huge store promotions, no newspaper and magazine ads, etc..  The pressure was so off!  It was great.

Colin and I did exchange cards and a small gift, but nothing was really expected from either of us, so the small gestures were appreciated.  We dressed up Aberly in pink for the day and made a few small Valentine's for her playgroup friends, and I also emailed out some pictures to family and friends back home wishing them a great day.  It was overall, simple and sweet.

Happy Valentine's Day late!

Just to clarify

Apparently there is a bit of concern over my reference to Muslims and Christians worshipping the same God/Allah so I think I should explain and clarify my words and beliefs.  It can be said that we do worship the same God of Abraham, but that is where it split and Muslims do not believe Jesus is the Son of God,  like Jews do not believe he is the Messiah either.  Muslims believe Jesus was a great prophet and he is revered as that.

For me personally, I do believe that we worship the same God.  God is the same God He was to Abraham as he is to us today.  He didn't change into a different God when religions branched off.  I can say to a Muslim, "I worship Allah and I follow Jesus the Christ" and be speaking truthfully.  And they would respect that and want to engage in conversation.

I highly recommend reading the book "Muslims, Christians, and Jesus" by Carl Medearis.  He is a Christian who has extensive experience working and living with Muslims, and he is an expert on Islam.  He works with international government and business leaders and speaks and conferences and universities worldwide.  His book really opened my eyes to the reality of Islam, the beliefs, and the misunderstandings many Christians and Americans have regarding it.   I hope you take the time to read it.

Updates for February

-  Colin is off on his Discover Oman adventure with a group of 6th graders.  Sound like fun yet?  This is where the entire Middle School heads out to explore and adventure in some part of Oman.  The high school does some larger scale adventures that Colin hopes to attend someday.  For this trip, they are hiking and camping through an area a couple hours from here, and then meeting up on the last day in Nizwa to explore the souk and fort (this is also what we did with Andrew and Skip).  Colin managed a text to me this evening that said he was "ready to be done with this circus".  Well, he is with a group of 6th graders... I don't think that evaluation would be much different. 

-  Aberly has become very comfortable and happy with her nanny, Priscilla.  She is happy to see her each day and has come to grasp with the reality that mommy goes to work each day and that Priscilla will come each afternoon.  She likes to have extra cuddles and a few books once Priscilla arrives before I put her down for a nap before I leave.  I always come home to a very happy girl who is having fun with her nanny.  I also always come home to a little girl with some cute hair-do that she has let Priscilla do, something of course, that she wouldn't allow me to do.  It usually involves fancy French braids, pigtails, or the two combined.

-  I got to get away for a quick overnight with a group of gals to celebrate our friend's 40th birthday.  We had a slumber party at another gal's house who also lives by the beach.  It was so fun to hang out, talk, eat, and drink without any kids or hubbies.  Lots of girl time and a great time to further forge relationships here!


-  Colin and I had a fabulous date night before he left.  We got dressed up and enjoyed a dinner out at a local hotel restaurant on the patio, and then attended the South African Ballet Company's performance at the Opera House.  The show included some modern ballet with African drumming and music, and was mixed with excepts from many famous ballets like Swan Lake and the Nutcracker.  It was a fantastic show.

-  I got the odd reminder today of how "out of touch" I am with American news sometimes.  I learned of Whitney Houston's death at playgroup from one of the Filipino nannies.  I try to check it at times, but often I find it too sensationalized and empty to pay much attention to.  I have to admit I don't miss American's news that much.  I can get much more accurate and truthful news abroad.  And it is news that matters, you know?  Anyways, it didn't surprise me to hear the news.  She has been troubled for so long.  It is sad, of course, to lose such a talented person.

-  Lastly, I have had the opportunity to develop a friendship with an Omani family here.  They live next door to our friend's home in our neighborhood.  They have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who has started coming to our playgroup a few days a week.  She is developmentally delayed and after getting to know them a bit better, we've finally found out that she suffers from epilepsy and so we are guessing that her seizures have caused the issues we are seeing (she has low muscle mass and is still learning to walk, she can only use a few words, etc...).  She is a beautiful little girl and we have all seen her grow and come out of her shell just having her in our playgroup.  She loves watching the other kids and is learning from them.  Hamdy (Hahm-dee) and Seusan (Sow-sen) are the mother and father.  They both lived in the US for awhile and attended college there before moving back to Oman.  They met through mutual friends and dated before getting married.  I was surprised to hear this as I had read that arranged marriages were still done here, but Hamdy told me it wasn't the case very much anymore.  They have lots of pictures of them and their family around their home and are so kind.  They recently had their 2nd child, Tarik, who is now about 3 weeks, but is in the hospital because of having a stroke due some hemorrhaging in the brain.  He is stable now, but in the hospital (where they and Hamdy's mother take turns being there each day) and the doctors hope to do be able to do tests soon to figure out what happened.  Our hearts go out to them to have two children suffering health wise.  We are excited to get to know them better and share our lives with each other.  Hamdy was very open in talking to me about their lives and about our different countries, and Seusan was so blessed when I told her I would pray to Allah for Tarik.  And it's true that I did and will continue to do so.  Praying to Allah is praying to God.  We worship the same God, just with different names.  I hope this may open doors for further discussion in the future.  Being able to talk with a Muslim about religion would be awesome.

Cemetery

I meant to blog about this quite awhile ago but forgot, and then the last two times I tried, the "box" that you write your blog in wasn't loading for me.  My poor blog.  Either it's the pictures or something else that seems to get wonky for awhile. 

But it's working tonight!  Here I am.

Back at the beginning of January when we took Andrew to Nizwa, we noticed this weird area of stones just off the highway.  It was quite an expanse of rocks that were clearly placed all over the ground, but there was no noticeable patter or organization to it.  We fathomed the guess to each other of a cemetery, but the stones were way to close together to be that many grave markers.  On we drove for a few miles and I scanned through our Lonely Planet guide book for tidbits of information on the city we were headed to.  After the part on Nizwa, I read through a short section on an area outside of Nizwa where you could go see the Beehive stone tombs (round stacked stone above ground graves).  It talked about how they were an odd archeological find since traditional Omani graves were simply two stones marking the head and foot of the grave.  Well, thank you God for that answer!  We hadn't even asked!  Since Aberly was konked out napping on the way home, we weren't able to try to get to it on the way home for a quick adventure, so I decided to go find the way to it another time if we headed that way.

Along came Skip a week later for his visit and he was interested in going to Nizwa as well.  Perfect.  Aberly was with one of the nannies for the day so I knew we would not be hindered by a two-year old passenger.  I pointed it out to him on the way out to Nizwa that day and told him about what we had figured out on our last trip with Andrew.  Then I said, "Wanna try to get to it on the way back?", which was really a statement that meant, "Hey, we're going to try to get to it on our way home, so I hope you are ready!".  Poor guy, he got the pleasure of coming along on my morbid adventure. 

We knew the exit we needed, it was just figuring out the road that would lead to it once we got across the highway.  We took a few wrong turns the first time and then finally figured it out on the third try.  It was down a long, gravel road.  No formal markers to get there, no name, no nothing. 

When you get to the graveyard itself, you can see much more easily all the plots, but they are not in any order.  Where people can find an open space, that is where they bury.  They don't bury deep due to the hard, rocky soil, so fresh graves, which were quite numerous, were raised mounds above the ground.  Some recent graves were also encircled by stones.  Old graves were weathered, and I tripped once on a low rock at one point, realizing when looking down that it was a head or foot marker, barely sticking out of the ground after years of wear and shifting earth.

There were many child and baby graves, a solemn reminder of the harsher life many Omani's experience outside of the big cities.  Although health care here is quite good, those on the outskirts may not always be able to access it.  There were also many fresh child graves as well.

Skip was the one who noticed the bones a few minutes into our trip.  It was just two.  Both were old and probably exposed from the weather or wild dogs.  One appeared to be a leg/knee bone and the other a rib. 

It was a surreal experience being there.  It was clear that this was a highly used, and old cemetery.  You always wondered if someone was buried under foot since some areas were so dense with plots that it was hard to tell where you stepped if you were on or between graves.  The area was quite large so you were surrounded by markers everywhere.  The fresh graves made you sad for the ones most recently lost.  The lack of any kind of reference to the dead was odd.

Based on the little information I've been able to gather, Islam believes in simple burials for the dead, so therefore the tombs/graves are very simple.  I also suspect that based on their long history and way of life for so many years, that death in itself is viewed as just another part of the life cycle and with their belief of Insha Allah (God willing), death is God willed, so you accept what has happened as a part of God's plan.  No doubt there is mourning, but once that has happened, you bury the body, the soul is in heaven with God, and you move on with your life.  This may be wrong hypothesis and I hope to find out.  It is a subject I hope to broach at some point with a local when I have the chance.